Monthly Archives: April 2011

7 Signs of a Barefoot Runner

 

  1. If You Pick Up Your Keys with Your Toes, You Might Be a Barefoot Runner

  2. If You Intentionally Step Directly Into Puddles, You Might Be a Barefoot Runner

  3. If People Always Ask, “Which Way to the Ashram?” You Might Be a Barefoot Runner.

  4. If the only Lace you See All Day is on your Wife’s Lingerie, You Might Be a Barefoot Runner

  5. If Your Carpet is Bright Green, but Was White when You Moved in, You Might Be a Barefoot Runner

  6. If You Know more than Three Ways to Stretch your Hamstring, You Might Be a Barefoot Runner

  7. If You Consider the Seeds to Your “Mr. T” Chia Pet to be an All Natural Endurance Enhancing Food Product, You Might Be a Barefoot Runner

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Ghosts of Santa Cruz

 

The Haunted Coast.

They say the California Central Coast is full of ghosts, that with the mists, clouds, and fog the sea brings apparitions. You never feel quite alone near the sea, especially when the hazy light fades.

I’ve felt the touch of spirits, good and bad. The good, on one of my trial runs at UCSC. It was mid day but a type of fog the natives call “pogonip” covered the sun. It filled the forest with cool drizzle. The damp charged the scent of eucalyptus and bay leaf. As I emerged from the tree covered path and entered the meadow, a burst of sun beams broke through the fog; they shined through the hole in the clouds above me. It was as if a window to heaven had opened up. I was stunned; I stopped running and just looked up in amazement at the mysterious portal. A rush of warm air blasted down. It smelled of fresh roses, strawberries, and mint. With the scent came an overcoming thrill of joy. I laughed. When I came to my senses, the portal had closed. I inhaled deeply, then continued my run. From that point onward, I had the distinct sense that someone watching over me. It was a little discomforting at first because it was so pronounced and lasted for weeks. I felt self-conscious taking showers, going to restroom, and doing other personal things. Either I got used to feeling or it went away.

A few days later, a daydreaming mother of three side swiped my Corolla. After the impact, I stepped from my car to find out if the woman who hit me was OK. She and her children were fine. I returned to my vehicle to retrieve my insurance information. Just before reaching into my glove compartment, I felt a presence tugging on my shoulder, urging me to step away from the car. I looked at the road, but it was clear. Nevertheless, the pressure to get off of the road overcame me. I left the insurance information in the car and walked to the curb. As soon as I got to the curb a huge SUV zoomed around the corner and slammed into my car, completely wrecking it.

The other supernatural encounter I had at UCSC was not so positive. It was downright frightening. And I hope it never happens again. It was about a week before the angel came to me. I was hiking across the street from family student housing. It’s an “off limits” hidden trail. The hike started out pleasant enough. I crossed a dilapidated bridge, then spied an inviting side trail. It was narrow had clovers and wild strawberries on the sides. Soon the vegetation gave way to looming redwoods, which darkened the path considerably. As I followed the trail, a growing sense of dread emerged. It got to point where I was in a panic, almost overcome with terror. I felt as I would lose my mind if stepped further, as if some malicious presence would take control. My hair raised, my heart raced. An alarm was triggered in me; it told me told me run, to get the hell out of there ASAP! But when I tried to run, I couldn’t. I was frozen in place. I tried to yell, but my voice didn’t work. Then I heard a branch snap near a ring of huge, ominous Redwoods. I know no one else was on that trial. Whatever had snapped the twig wasn’t human or animal. I knew I could not be alone with it. But I couldn’t move and I knew it was approaching. I forced myself to imagine a peregrine falcon (my totem animal) flying overhead. The grip of terror broke. I bolted off the trail and ran home.

A few days later, I decided to run an experiment, I took someone else with me to the same area, determined not to venture as far this time. I did not tell her what had happened to me the last time I went there. Sure enough, the person I was with had the same alarm signals go off. She turned to me and said, “This place is evil. We need to go.”

These are the places of power, some good, some evil. Their energy cannot be denied. Tread barefoot, it’s easier tell which is which.

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Magic Wine

 

Just another cliche sunset photo, you may be tempted to think. It’s not. If you look deeply enough, you can see the bottles of “magic wine” in the negative space.

We bought the wine from a self proclaimed gypsy who said it was blessed with “special magic powers”. It looked like “two buck chuck” to me, but I liked the story. Besides, you never know.

When we got to the beach, we realized that neither of us had a cork screw. To buy a proper corkscrew seemed profane–almost like spitting in Fate’s eye. So, I pulled out my Dollar Store Pocket Knife and poked stupid holes in the cork–perhaps the real magic of the wine was the miraculous dance my fingers did when the blade tried to bite them. Of course, Operation “Open Magic Gypsy Wine” showered the libation with chunks of cork, which did not always float as one would expect. We had to spit them out with each sip.

After a few gulps, we wondered the sands of the beach, cameras in hand. Sparks of giddy laughter popped between us as we approached the setting sun. Some wild bum grabbed my ankle and yanked me to the ground hard. Dazed, I soon discovered that the bum was actually just an alarmingly strong vein from the Beachgrass . As I struggled to get up, I glimpsed the simple, perfect sky. I brushed the sand from my camera and shot the image. A cliche? If you just see the setting sun, you might think that; but if you look deep enough, you can taste the magic wine.

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The First Rule of Foot Club

 

When you step into the ring of bare-footing, you automatically feel as if you’re suddenly a part of “Foot Club”, as if by some strange magic, the shod world becomes an opponent. Not by choice; it just sort of plays out that way. Even in spring and summer people stare at the lone barefoot walker, hiker, and especially the barefoot runner. Some people even think it’s OK to put on the verbal gloves and punch out an assortment of comments, ranging from simple questions like, “Where are your shoes?” to the more potent jab: “You forgot your shoes.” I’ll admit that comments like the last one do make me want to give someone a black eye.

Perhaps, I should be grateful. Such remarks remind me to be mindful. The cheap shots bring to mind the story about a Zen master who was verbally attacked by a peasant. The peasant shouted at the Master all manner of insults, “You’re on old fool; Your robes are ridiculous”, etc. The Master just smiled. Soon a cloud of people gathered. The crowd emboldened the cruel peasant who exploded with spite. He worked himself into a frenzy, erupting now with outright lies about the Zen Master. Throughout the Zen Master listened, his demeanor unchanged. When the peasant was finished with his tirade, someone from the crowd asked the master, “How do you respond to this? He has made some serious accusations.” The Zen master held his silence. “Have you nothing to say!?” the man from the audience continued. The Zen Master laughed. “I can see that this has upset you,” he paused. Looking to the crowd, the Master said, “What power do mere words have? If someone calls you a tree, do you become a tree?” The crowd laughed, “Of course not.” someone said.

The Master turned to the peasant who had shouted the insults at him. “You cannot see the enormous burden you carry. That is why you lay it at my feet, hoping I will join you in the carrying of it. But I will not pick up your load. Your spite does not belong to me. If you wish to carry it, you must do so alone.” That said, the Zen master continued his daily tasks.

When all is said and done, I’d rather shake hands in friendship than make a fist to fight. Better to gain a friend than an enemy. So, Foot Club is open to all. Heck, everyone is a member part of the day. Unless of course, you shower with your shoes on.

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Don’t Make a Peep

 

There are many Easter annoyances, but one of the worst is marshmallow bunnies aka Peeps. I hate peeps. They are absolutely disgusting, I’d rather eat a banana slug dipped in rotten milk than a yellow peep. Their nutritional value is -1,000,000,000; they’re a completely well rounded non-food: nothing but chemical food coloring, sugar, and gelling agents.

I don’t know anyone who enjoys these cloying “treats”. Maybe that’s because I would consider it a personal defect–a deep weakness that only tasty licorice can cure. Of course my wife hates licorice, but I overlook that one fault in her. After all, no one is perfect.

My only sugary mega candy corporation vice is Nutter Butters–What can I say I love peanuts, even though they give me temporary, semi-debilitating asthma. About once every three years or so, I get an inhaler, cross my fingers and indulge myself. Lately, I’ve haven’t been a total kamikaze with sweets. I either make them myself or choose something light like angel food cake.

If you are full of deep personal weakness and must have the dreaded marshmallow peep this time of year, make them yourself. Here’s a recipe from former inmate, Martha Stewart.

Disgusting Marshmallow Peep Recipe

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Bellows Breath for Running & Health

 


Sometimes you wake up feeling as if you made of lead. Heavy, tired, completely unmotivated to get out of bed. This kind of lethargy can become debilitating. But, if you’re willing to feel a little goofy, you can bring the sloth to extinction. And you won’t need an expensive Transcendental Mediation Workshop to do it.

In fact, this dynamic breathing exercise only snags a minute of your time. It’s easy to learn. If you do it alone, no on will have a clue to the secret of your boundless energy and charisma.

This form of breathing is called Bhastrika (pronounced bah-STREE-kah). It’s one of many yoga breathing techniques. Bhastrika roughly translates to the “bellows breath”. As you’ll soon discover, it’s an appropriate name because when you perform it correctly, you sound just like a bellows stoking the fires. The technique is active. You draw breath forcibly in and out through the nose in equal proportion. Make sure you blow your nose before you begin this practice.

Bellows Breath aka Bhastrika for Barefoot Runners Step by Step

  1. Sit Straight & Relax your Shoulders

  2. Breath In and Out through Your NOSE

    Take a few deep, full breaths. Your stomach should expand when you INHALE and contract when you EXHALE. You should hear the air as it moves quickly through your nose and throat into your lungs during inhalation. You should also hear the breath during the exhalation. If you’re doing it correctly, you should hear sound like a bellows. This is a vigorous, forceful breath. Very active. The breaths should be rapid: about one second in, followed by one second out. The out breath is IMMEDIATE; no pause. Just in out in out, etc. Both breaths are through your nose. The mouth takes a vacation for during this type of breathing. It stays shut throughout.

  3. Continue the Vigorous In Out Breaths for 30 seconds, then Breath Normally, but Stay Seated.

    You may feel dizzy, lightheaded, or, like I did, as if you’re floating. Don’t panic, this is normal. Just enjoy the calm for another 30 seconds. You will find that the calmness lingers and that you will have more energy and creative ideas as the day progresses. This practice should be done at least three times a day, but 10 times is optimal. It should NOT before bed because it does tend to give you energy. If you do it too close to bedtime, it can keep you awake.

Note: This is aggressive breathing. Refrain from this technique if you’re pregnant or have had abdominal surgery. Don’t do this WHILE running. Do it before or after runs.

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Strange Birds with Barefeet

 

I won the lottery: given a fine birth in the USA. Never wanting food or shelter. Happy and content in a nuclear family. Parents still married. College Degree, nice GPA.

And yet, I wasn’t packaged at the factory, not taped neatly along the edges of a fine, uniform recycled paper using cardboard box. Sometimes I wonder what would I be if I were inside the factory box? A Phonograph? A Scientific Calculator? No, when you opened the box, I’d probably dart out as scary night flying bat. The kind that looks like it could suck your blood, but that is really much more interested in eating gnats and insanely thankful that you let out of that damn paper prison.

So I wonder why the teenagers giggle at me when I run by. Then I realize it might be the bare feet plodding the pavement, the tattoos on my legs bobbing up and down, the long hair trailing in the wind, or the ragged shirt and shorts flapping as they have for years like battle flags. I have this sense that cloths should literally fall off you or smell so bad that your wife complains before they should be discarded. Maybe there’s some self loathing in that. I suspect there is an element of self-hate in it.

I like to pretend that the sneer and chuckle of the blue-haired, nose ringed girl doesn’t phase me. That the warm, rough road beneath my feet immunizes me against it. But a small shard of it does pierce me. It’s that tingle in your chest the night of the play, right before you take the stage, but it hurts a little. You know it won’t kill you. But it does nag at you, just a little. You realize that if you really let, it can infect. It can fester up your soul, if you let it. So, I just let it pass. I become like the wind. The insult fades.

I remember that I won the lottery. That I am well, healthy, running without shoes outside in the beautiful Oregon sun. Instead of letting the sharp words cut me, I let them cut open uniform recycled paper using cardboard box. And this time, I don’t fly out as bat, but as an eagle with a Longfeather.

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