Monthly Archives: August 2011

Don’t Let the Trail Pass You By

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Taken from Ecola State Park, a photograph look...

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My wife and I hiked to Indian Beach at Ecola State Park. I, of course, took off my sandals and walked bare. I got the usual stares from people who passed us by.

When there’s nothing between you and the trail, you automatically slow down and savor each step. I was cautiously walking over packed dirt and hard hard sharp pebbles when a group of teenagers blasted past me. They were hiking at a furious rate and seemed to in a hurry to get to the beach. I looked at their Marshmellow shoes and watched as they blindly rushed over the rough terrain that was slowing my pace. The whole trail must have felt the same to them. All one rubber bounce. No texture, no temperature, no sensation of wet or dry. What’s the point? You can walk fast anywhere.

Hiking is more than just a stomping over rocks and dirt. It’s about connecting and experiencing the place. Don’t let the Trail Pass You By: Tread Bare.

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Fast Food One Liners

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I was talking to a friend of mine  who eats fast food, she told me about a sticker she saw at KFC drive-through. It was for “KFC Scholars”; some BS program that purports to help their employees pay for college or something like that. I HATE KFC and fast food in general; so, I couldn’t resist writing some stupid barefoot take-offs:

KFC on King street in Kingston, Jamaica

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  1. KFC Scholars:  Fill your Mind with Fowl Thoughts.
  2. KFC Scholars: We teach you How to Pass Chicken.
  3. KFC Scholars: Learn to Hatch It Yourself! (Gotta say that one fast.)
  4. KFC Scholars: Let us pluck your brain.
  5. KFC Scholars: Surround yourself with chicks and cocks.
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3 Thorns of the Barefoot Rose

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Rose

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I think running barefoot is thrilling, enlightening, and most enjoyable way of getting exercise. But there are three evils lurking. After all, “every rose has its thorns.”

Serious rose thorns

Image by Martin LaBar via Flickr

Here are three drawbacks to barefoot running that barefoot hippies the world over don’t you to know:

  1. Barefooting will give you Monkey Feet. Yes, barefooting will totally reshape your lower leg and foot. My feet have become wider at the front, my toes spreadier (that should be a word; it’s awesome) almost like fingers. On the whole, my new foot sort of looks like a flipper and chimp foot.
  2. Barefoot running looks funny. People will notice and comment on your barefoot running. For some reason, running with naked feet just looks weird to most people. I have a few posts about comebacks. But it’s something you have deal with when you run without shoes.
  3. Barefoot Running is too fun. Your first barefoot run will get you hooked. You won’t want to put your shoes back on, as result, it’s not uncommon for most people to run more often and do too much too soon, thereby, injuring themselves. But, if you listen to your injuries and your body and alter and adjust your stride. You will discover a form of running unlike any other. You will flow swiftly, softly, and surely across the ground. It’s almost like skipping a stone. For me there is the distinct sensation of flight, almost as if I’m falling, floating, and skipping.
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Now You Can Prevent Barefoot Blood Blisters

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Grown male right foot (angle 1)

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It’s difficult to believe, but running barefoot can decrease the number of blisters you get from running. Of course, running barefoot the wrong way can dramatically increase the number of gruesome blood blisters you get too. Blistering usually occurs around the front of the foot or on the toes. Blisters on the toes and front of the foot indicate a tendency to sweep or pull the foot backward. It is this longer contact with the turf that produces  more friction resulting in the unsightly blisters.

The key to preventing, not eliminating, these nasty blood blisters is to decrease friction. The foot and toes should NOT drag across the ground. They should bounce up and down. You’re not trying to pull yourself across the pavement, it’s more of a hopping motion. Terrain also plays a role. Asphalt will give more blisters than soft dirt or grass.

Ugly blood blisters are not the end of the world, but they aren’t fun either.You can, however, decrease the severity and frequency of blistering by improving your stride or by wearing running sandals. If you do get a blood blister, it’s best to leave it alone. Do your best to protect and prevent anything from breaking it. If it does break, put some antibacterial cream or ointment on it to decrease the chance of infection.

Luckily, blisters on the soles of your feet and toes tend heal more quickly than the ones on your sides of your foot. You, do, of course, feel the ones of your soles a bit more.

 

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3 Easy Barefoot Running Programs.

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Discourse-into-the-night

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As I have mentioned many times, barefoot running has to be eased into. In fact, many responsible, barefoot shoe makers, such as SoftStar, are putting caveats on their products. You can, however, discuss deep philosophical topics without shoes or special training like these scholars of old.

In the “how to run barefoot” section of my site, I include a video that has step by step instructions about how to start running barefoot. But some people prefer reading and want to have a schedule. So, here are three resources to help first timers make the transition to barefoot running:

  1. The utter beginner program. For people who haven’t run a while and want to start out in their barefeet.
  2. The shod to shodless runner. For people who run in bouncy shoes, but want to become hippie barefoot runners.
  3. The “common sense” approach. This is for people who want advice from a Harvard man. Yes, it’s Lieberman.  Lieberman is a luminary  in the barefoot running community. His paper about the evolutionary roots of running explains much about the our biological need for cardio vasular exercise: “endurance running is a derived capability of the genus Homo, originating about 2 million years ago, and may have been  instrumental in the evolution of the human body form.”
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Parasites in the Washroom?

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5&1/2 Things You Didn’t Know About Me

Everyone knows, or should know, that I’m NOT a reptilian humanoid. Here are five and half things about you me you probably didn’t know. By the time you finish reading this post, you may wish you still didn’t know them, especially the one about the parasites.

San Jose State University Tower Hall

Image by roarofthefour via Flickr

  1. I am an Oregon State Licensed Tattoo Artist.
  2. I have a gift (or curse) for annoying people I love. Sort of like this song.
    What makes me think it’s a gift is catchy quality of my irritation.
  3. I have designed and illustrated a few books for a small, literary press.  I also write bad poetry and fiction on occasion. I’m working on my first YA novel. I don’t have a title yet, but it will be better than my first novel title, “Satanic Holiday”. God, I can’t believe I thought that was an edgy title. It’s terrible.
  4. I have an ALA accredited Masters of Library Science Degree from SJSU. I even served as an Adjunct Faculty Member at Tacoma Community College and Spokane Falls Community College. Most of my Spokane students absolutely hated me. They tore into me for my faculty review. OMG, it was brutal, I couldn’t stop laughing when I read it.  But the department head didn’t care. She had me come back to teach.
  5. I absolutely hate seafood, which is why I married someone who enjoys it.
    5 & 1/2. I had a weird hobby: I used to collect and repeatedly listen to MLM pitch tapes as a form of entertainment. Most of my collection focused on holistic health, but a I had a few stock forex ones too. The holistic ones were much more interesting. Quack cures abounded in Dead Doctors Don’t Lie (Doc Wallock is top-rate salesman and speaker.) But my favorite MLM tape was about parasites. It was called something like “Are You Clear of Parasites?” It featured audio testimonials of people talking about their eliminations.The line I remember is, “I called my wife over to the washroom and said, ‘Oh, honey, you gotta see this; you just won’t believe it!’” (I think, by now, you know how that poor woman must have felt.)
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Here’s a Quick Way to Laugh or Roll your Eyes

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Some Silly Stick Captions.
Caption #1:
I told you the new ginsus were sharp!

Caption#2:
OK, OK, I admit it: you can take this minimalist lifestyle thing too far. 

 

 

 

 

Caption#1:
That’s what happens when you watch too much TV.
Caption#2:
What people look like to someone suffering from an acute case of Pacman fever. 

 

 

 

 

Caption#1:
What your spouse looks like the morning after your first ultra.
Caption#2:
The first thing everyone looks at when they attend their own funeral.
Caption#3:
A Grisly Bear’s Trophy Wall.

 

Dear CREATIVE PORTAL:
It’s Lame to Have a Blog Post about Image Captions with Images to Caption and Nothing asking visitors Not Hotlink WHILE PERMITTING HOT-LINKING. Then for no good reason, just turning off Hot-Linking. That’s screwy. I wouldn’t have hot-linked had I known. When you urge people to caption your photos in a blog post about blog ideas, you have to expect your readers to assume that hot-linking is OK. I mean, it is a post for bloggers who want to BLOG captions for the IMAGES–at least make download links or mention “No hotlinks”. I came home from a nice hike and was greeted with busted post. I had re-create the images from memory. What is this the 90s!?

 

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