5 & 1/2 Captions the New Yorker Won’t Use

Captions for the New Yorker Caption contest that I wrote in bare-feet.  Run bare, write bare.

  1. How every traveler appears to airport security.
  2. “No Arms, No Fowl.”
  3. Harold took precautions; he was, after all, a wildly successful tax auditor.
  4. Antique firearms+Craig’s List=Selma’s Mortgage Payment.
  5. It was a recurring nightmare for the Amish pastor.
    & 1/2 Harold was NOT a barefoot runner. The only thing Harold wanted to bear was arms.
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