Yes, I have a twisted sense of humor. But I’m tired of reading all of the BS about the deficiencies of a Vegan diet.
[alert_red] Transcript:[/alert_red]
The vegan community was hiding this from the carnivores.
About once a week, they would eat STEAK.
And they would say, “Don’t tell anyone. No one can know that we eat steak because our vegan diet fails us. It doesn’t give us all the nutrients. So once a week, we have to eat steak in secret. Just to keep up the facade; so that everyone thinks that our vegan diet works.”
And I said, “That’s not right. We can live on just fruits and vegetables. We don’t need meat!”
And they said,
“No! You shut up! YOU MUST EAT MEAT ONCE A WEEK IF YOU WANT TO BE A TRUE VEGAN.” And I said, “No! I don’t want to eat red meat. It’s not healthy.”
And they said, “If you don’t eat red meat once a week, then you WILL HAVE TO EAT THE MEAT OF MEAT. The meat that is the REAL MEAT.”
And I said, “What do you mean by, ‘ The eat that is the REAL meat? What is the meat of meat?” And they were quiet, and they wouldn’t answer me. Every time I asked them, they would change the subject. And then, Jannie spoke out. And she went missing.
And I said, “Where is Jannie?” And they said, “she is not longer with the Vegan Community.”
And I said, “Why is she no longer with the community?”
And they said, “She told everyone that we eat meat on the weekends because our diet is insufficient. And so now she’s not with us.”
And I said, “Well I don’t want to eat meat either.”
And they said, “Well now that she’s not with us, you can try the meat that is the real meat, the meat of meat.”
And I said, “I don’t understand. I don’t want to eat meat.
And they held out a strangely shaped piece of meat that had a very unusual aroma about it. And scarred [scorched] on the piece of meat was a piece of Jannie’s sock. And that was when I decided that I had to speak out.
BTW, I loved Jannie very much–she was DELICIOUS!
. Much of the information is hopelessly dated, but the book offers many exciting and challenging writing exercises. This one forced me to build a list of random nouns and then to connect them in specific way. The first noun served as the set-up, the second as the foundation of the punchline. I added the loony name: Anita Shoe to create a cohesive-ish blog post.
