I originally entitled this post: Why I broke the Rules with Gravity’s Jack Hammer, but decided it was too cryptic. Then the phrase Gravity’s Jackhammer slammed it’s way into my cranium. It became a kind of challenge for me to work in the phrase, “Gravity’s Jackhammer” into this post three more times. Gravity’s Jackhammer just sounds like the title of bad science fiction novel. One in which character A says to character B, “Stop Character B, you can’t. You can’t do it. You can’t beat Gravity’s Jackhammer!” And character B says, “Then I’ll just have to beat, GRAVITY!!!!!” And then there are some spectacular explosions, time warps, steam/cyber punks, and other stuff that happens in science fiction novels.
And since I don’t have a nice transition to my actual post topic, I was drowning in Twitter‘s deadly Shark Tank of censorship. My links to posts in Tweets had been broken and then dragged through prison sewers like Andy Dufresne in the excellent film The Shawshank Redemption. Though I was never accused of wrong-doing like Josef K. in Kafka‘s the Trail, my blog was suddenly banned from Twitter. With one swift stroke, Twitter had silenced the gush of my yatchety chatter and compelled me to over use similes like a bad writer who who thinks similes are simply metaphors who like to strip an lick brass poles like Nomi in the epic film Showgirls.
I almost gave up. But then, I got an idea. And I felt the way I felt when I finally kicked off my shoes along with the old quagswagging stride–the one my joints called Gravity’s Jackhammer.
In an instant, I discovered that Twitter’s blacklist is really stupid. And not just birds lifting whales stupid. Really stupid. How stupid? It’s so stupid it went to dentist for BlueTooth. I mean it’s so stupid, it tripped over wireless. I overcame its stupidity with a URL shortener: bit.ly.com
And so my blog hopped on the bus to the Internet’s version of Zihuatanejo. Once again, you can happily tweet my posts.