Nothing I have eaten or heard of being eaten prepared me for the arrival of this gelatinous profanity. It looks like an egg casing to some endoparasitoid extraterrestrial species and tastes like what I imagine a baby’s heart would taste like if it were drenched in lemon jello. This recipe must have been created by a hive of starving vampires. But according to legend, it was really just bad LSD kicking through Betty Crocker’s 1970s brain.
One spoonful will haunt you for the rest of your life: a magnificent culinary disaster for the human tongue.
Sweet potatoes with marshmallows
The food of choice for the family’s the socio-path. Anyone who is willing to eat something that looks like it was rejected by someone else’s stomach deserves the lip burns from the white molten marshmallows.
Topped with marshmallows, stuffed with meat, frosted with potatoes, you can have your cake and freak it too. I think a secret government agency created the turkey cake. Who else would want to disguise dinner as dessert? It’s probably full of nano robots. One bite fully installs a big brother surveillance system.