Tag Archives: barefoot humor

5 Screwy Captions for the New Yorker

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  1. The scene at most bars when DC Comics publishes it’s quarterly report.
  2. Arch villain Admiral Alchoholo strikes again.
  3. Bartender, these shots were supposed to make ME feel INVINCIBLE.
  4. You must be the new guy.
  5. Excuse me sir, but has anyone told you that it is very impolite to wear a hat indoors?

 

 

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Comedy like Jeff Foxworthy without Shoes

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BTW, due to some Google weirdness this page is #1 for Bill Engval, who , apparently drinks the same barefoot awesome juice that I do. Here is a link to his blog & his amazing barefoot walk through the grand canyon.
I present my third podcast: Seven Surefire Signs You’re a Barefoot Runner.

Did you miss my second podcast?

Previous Podcast: Secret Psychological Silencers

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Here’s a Quick Way to Laugh or Roll your Eyes

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Some Silly Stick Captions.
Caption #1:
I told you the new ginsus were sharp!

Caption#2:
OK, OK, I admit it: you can take this minimalist lifestyle thing too far. 

 

 

 

 

Caption#1:
That’s what happens when you watch too much TV.
Caption#2:
What people look like to someone suffering from an acute case of Pacman fever. 

 

 

 

 

Caption#1:
What your spouse looks like the morning after your first ultra.
Caption#2:
The first thing everyone looks at when they attend their own funeral.
Caption#3:
A Grisly Bear’s Trophy Wall.

 

Dear CREATIVE PORTAL:
It’s Lame to Have a Blog Post about Image Captions with Images to Caption and Nothing asking visitors Not Hotlink WHILE PERMITTING HOT-LINKING. Then for no good reason, just turning off Hot-Linking. That’s screwy. I wouldn’t have hot-linked had I known. When you urge people to caption your photos in a blog post about blog ideas, you have to expect your readers to assume that hot-linking is OK. I mean, it is a post for bloggers who want to BLOG captions for the IMAGES–at least make download links or mention “No hotlinks”. I came home from a nice hike and was greeted with busted post. I had re-create the images from memory. What is this the 90s!?

 

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10 Things I Hate About Dogs

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  1. They can’t cross hatch pen and ink illustrations.
  2. They don’t know anything about Shakespeare.
    puppies

    Image by www.petian.net via Flickr

  3. They can’t play the ukulele.
  4. They never eat your homework when you want them to.
  5. They have two extra legs.
  6. They lack of proper bathroom etiquette.
  7. They can’t color correct images in Photoshop.
  8. They express their Uncontrolled Sexual Urges on your Leg.
  9. They are ineligible for public office.
  10. They can’t eat Chocolate, but they can eat their own poop.
I recently received a rebuttal to this post from one Mister Spot Doggy.
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Barefoot Comedy Tour

 

Since I’ve given everything else a shot, I thought I’d try my hand at some barefoot comedy writing. Unlike funny jokes, my jokes require explaination. Here we go:

  • A recent study showed that running reduces high blood pressure. That’s good news for debtors and creditors. It’s funny because the creditors are chasing the debtors. Both get healthy exercise.
  • Barefoot running is better for your knees than running with shoes. That’s good news for debtors, BAD news for creditors. It’s funny because the debtors can’t afford shoes.
  • Another recent study showed that barefoot running doesn’t reduce your monthly bills. That’s good news for creditors, BAD news for debtors. It’s funny because you can’t outrun your bills. OK that’s not funny at all.

These might get better with time–at least that’s what I hope happens.

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