Yesterday, I saw something that made my soul feel soggy and wet: a repulsively obese woman driving an automatic wheelchair–she could walk, I watched her stand up grab a box of donuts. Her flab oozed over the filthy gray arms of the chair in appalling globs of loose, baggy flesh. The woman didn’t even bother to take the curlers out of her dirty stiff hair. Her nightgown looked as if it hadn’t been changed in weeks and blistery soars around her lips made her brown streaked teeth glisten in the fluorescent light.
The image of that woman infected my mood as I drove home. What disturbed me most was the neglect. To clean my mind and rejuvenate my soul, I watched Gangnman Style for the millionth time. When it ended, I saw this video hanging on the side of YouTube.
Heat illness begins with completely treatable heat exhaustion, but it can progress to a full blown, deadly heat stroke. Each year about 688 people in the USA die from heat illness. Here are the early warning signs of heat exhaustion:
Muscle Cramps and Spasms
Stop running or exercising. Get out of the sun and heat right away. Rehydrate with water, chia gel, or a sports drink. If nausea or vomiting prevents fluid intake, and IV drip may be required.
As I have stated before, I’m not a doctor, just a crazy barefoot runner. Read my site disclaimer.
Your Instant Kitchen Masseuse: Rolling Pins are great for lower leg massages. Just roll them over your legs. You can get a deep massage or just mild one. Don’t press too hard. If you do, you’ll just force your muscles to contract and you’ll be even sorer than before. Roses, scented oil, and Enya are optional.
Egg your Oily Skin: Combine one cannibal free egg white with a teaspoon of lemon juice. Apply mask to oily area. Wait 20 minutes; wash away the mask to reveal lovely
Lick Stress with Lime: When you’re stressed or have a tension headache grab a lime and slice it in half. Gently rub one half over your forehead and temples–make sure you don’t any juice in your eyes, that will increase your stress. Squeeze the other half into a glass of tecquila: drink; no more stress.
Grind out Inflammation with Ginger. Ginger is an excellent natural anti-inflammatory agent. It can help relieve pain and reduce inflammation associated with arthritis, rheumatism and muscle spasms. Don’t eat too much, it can upset the stomach.
Give Hang-Overs the Slip with Bananas. Bananas are great for hangovers,. They make three natural sugars which supply quick energy. They also contain high levels of magnesium, which ease alcoholically induced headaches.
1/2 Remedy: Boost Stamina with Chia Seeds. Chia seeds are packed with protein, EFAs, and minerals. They deliver instant energy without empty calories. They have no taste either; so you can add them to just about anything.
Is it a sore muscle or is it a torn muscle? The knowing the difference can save you
weeks of rehab (but if you do end up with a full rupture, you can use that time to learn French so you can read the diagram on the right).
Muscle damage from ripping all or some of the muscle fibers and the tendons attached to the muscle can occur from suddenly overloading the muscle too fast or from chronic overuse and insufficient recovery. Sudden unexplained pain in a muscle may be s symptom of DEADLY medical condition, if muscle pain comes from nowhere, seek medical attention ASAP. It could save your life.
Le Signs of Muscle Strain:
Pain in muscle during periods of rest and inactivity.
Weakness or Inability to contract the muscle.
Bruising, often the bruises will travel. So, there may be bruising near your ankle even though the pain is in your calf.
(This post is officially over. But here is an exciting “deleted” scene. And by deleted I mean completely included.)
Medical advice from a barefoot runner who is NOT a medical professional or reptilian humanoid:
Ice packs or wraps will alleviate swelling. Apply immediately and for no longer than twenty minutes at a time. Slightly stretch/elongate the muscle for best results. Don’t apply heat too early! OMG, you will regret it. I used wet heat the first night of my calf strain. The next day it felt like rats had gnawed it and the twitchy spasms drove me insane. Heat should be applied by the injured party when the swelling has decreased.
Deleted Scene Commentary:
When the passive voice is used by me, I like to add weak,lifeless phrases such as “the injured party”. It reminds of all the bad writing I committed in Mr. Edwards English class. He would write “AWK” in red ink next to almost every sentence of mine. But the awkward phrases were my favorite ones. I never changed them. I let them tumble around the page. When I read them again, they would project many stupid images into my brain’s theater. Now playing: “Injured Party”. A ripped “happy birthday” banner slithers in the wind, below it a tangle of unhappy hunched figures in blue suits and gray, Victorian dresses; at their feet: wet confetti, popped balloons, and spilled punch bowls. Now that is an “injured party”.) OK that was “AWK. You need to re-write this. Come see me after class, we to talk about your grades.”