Pain from a Strain? Or sore from a chore?

Is it a sore muscle or is it a torn muscle? The knowing the difference can save you

Muscle long fléchisseur de l'hallux
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weeks of rehab (but if you do end up with a  full rupture, you can use that time to learn French so you can read the diagram on the right).

Muscle damage from ripping all or some of  the muscle fibers and the tendons attached to the muscle can occur from suddenly overloading the muscle too fast or from chronic overuse and insufficient recovery. Sudden unexplained pain in a muscle may be s symptom of DEADLY medical condition, if muscle pain comes from nowhere, seek medical attention ASAP. It could save your life.

Le Signs of Muscle Strain:

  • Pain in muscle during periods of rest and inactivity.
  • Weakness or Inability to contract the muscle.
  • Bruising, often the bruises will travel. So, there may be bruising near your ankle even though the pain is in your calf.

(This post is officially over. But here is an exciting “deleted” scene. And by deleted I mean completely included.)

Medical advice from a barefoot runner who is NOT a medical professional or reptilian humanoid:

Ice packs or wraps will alleviate swelling. Apply immediately and for no longer than twenty minutes at a time. Slightly stretch/elongate the muscle for best results. Don’t apply heat too early! OMG, you will regret it. I used wet heat the first night of my calf strain. The next day it felt like rats had gnawed it and the twitchy spasms drove me insane. Heat should be applied by the injured party when the swelling has decreased.

Deleted Scene Commentary:

When the passive voice is used by me, I like to add weak,lifeless phrases such as “the injured party”. It reminds of all the bad writing I committed in Mr. Edwards English class. He would write “AWK” in red ink next to almost every sentence of mine. But the awkward phrases were my favorite ones. I never changed them. I let them tumble around the page. When I read them again, they would project many stupid images into my brain’s theater.  Now playing: “Injured Party”.  A ripped “happy birthday” banner slithers in the wind,  below it a tangle of unhappy hunched figures in blue suits and gray, Victorian dresses; at their feet: wet confetti, popped balloons, and spilled punch bowls. Now that is an “injured party”.) OK that was “AWK. You need to re-write this. Come see me after class, we to talk about your grades.”

10 Killer Barefoot Running Comebacks

Cartoon by Valen It’s summer. Time to hit the streets bare. But every rose has its thorns. Bare-footing in summer is no different. Creeping from summer shadows are the slack jawed hecklers. This swarm of idiots will make it their purpose to harass and hurl insults. Their inane question of choice:

Where are your Shoes?

It is almost as disturbing as it is ridiculous that these people somehow think that YOUR SHOES or lack thereof will affect THEIR LIFE. Why else would they ask? They see that you’re running. I hope they don’t expect you stop mid stride to strike up conversation with them. No. They’re not interested in engaging in a real conversation. The cold, dirty truth is that they aren’t asking for an answer; they’re calling you an idiot. Not outright; instead of being brave, they’re cloaking it in a question. Insecure people hide behind questions all the time. Their passive aggressive verbal attack is a feeble attempt to make their massively insignificant selves feel superior to someone they do not consider to be a threat. Usually, I let the snide comments slide, but sometimes I feel feisty. If you’re tired of listening the claptrap of the shod AND stupid, here are some potent barefoot zingers.

Where are your shoes?

  1. Only smart people can see them.
  2. Running barefoot strengthens bone. The bones in my feet are almost as strong as the one in your head.
  3. Sometimes less is more; unfortunately for you, that does NOT apply to IQ.
  4. You don’t need shoes to run. Your mouth has proven that.
  5. My feet love the open air. Maybe they can run inside your head sometime.
  6. My feet don’t need shoes, but your mouth could use a brain.
  7. Not on my feet. If you were a quarter as smart as a half wit, you’d have tripled your IQ.
  8. Running without shoes gives me magic power: It forces all the world class idiots within range to ask me about my shoes.
  9. I’ll put shoes on my feet if you put duct tape on your mouth.
  10. Where’s your tail? (Pause). Because I see a horse’s ass, but no tail.

“If you can’t ignore an insult, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved.”
–J. Russell Lynes quotes

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The Secret to Superhuman Feet Finally Revealed

Have you ever wished for steel feet?

Ballerinas have unlocked the secret to superhuman foot strength. Ballet is insanely hard on feet; dancers suffer the same types of repetitive foot and strain injuries that barefoot runners have to endure. Ballerinas also have to abide by strict schedules and rigorous training. Over the years they have developed a system of strengthening their feet to superhuman levels. Here are some of their secrets.

  1. Secret Ballet Foot Stretches

    Ballerina Foot Stretches.

  2. Esoteric Top of Foot and Toe Stretches

    Secret Stretch moves.

  3. The Occult Power of Ballerina Footwear

    Ballerina Flats are ideal for barefoot runners, they have all of the qualities of “barefoot shoes” without the nasty mark-up. They are also designed to mold to the your foot and are perfectly suited to running.

    The Samra Ballet Flat/Barefoot Running Shoe is particularly suited to barefoot running. Flats are slightly less breathable than some of the expensive barefoot shoes, but they work just as well and cost a heck of lot less.

  4. Sublime Energy of the Tutu

    There is a mysterious quality to fabric of the tutu. It is both opaque and transparent. If a man wears a tutu while he runs barefoot, it will make other drunken males want to chase him, thereby increasing his speed training. Plus, he’ll look absolutely fabulous whilst staying in shape.

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5 Reasons to Take Off Your Shoes

  1. Bare Footing Strengthens your Feet

    Shoes stifle your foot, pushing it into an unnatural shape. Once released from the tiny prison of fabric, your feet expand and the weak muscles get a much needed workout.

  2. Going Bare Increases Walking, Jogging, and Running Pleasure

    You can’t feel the warm, smooth asphalt, the soft wet grass, or the even the fluffy, marshmallow carpet with a barrier of rubber between your feet and the ground. Walking outside bare foot awakens the many nerves of your feet, adding another dimension to running and walking. I am convinced that it also gives you extra energy.

  3. Bare Footing Improves your Balance

    As the muscles of your feet strengthen, your balance dramatically improves. I can stand solid and steady on one foot–something I could NOT do when I wore shoes.

  4. Bare Footing Helps Save the Planet

    If you do wear shoes, going bare every once in awhile will decrease wear. As a result, your shoes will last longer and will be less likely to end up in a dump where they will take ages to decompose. In a small way, you decrease pollution by going bare.

  5. It Improves your Posture

    Since the transfer and distribution of weight is better when your standing or moving in bare feet, your posture automatically improves. The muscles in your legs, waist and back, swing into action. Better posture means, easier breathing, better circulation, and an overall mood boost.